dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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