I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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