I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
