Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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