Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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