Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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