is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
