I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it glows. i had to have it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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