We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize