Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do vagina's smell?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
