I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize
