I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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