i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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