found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
