He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
