i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
