Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
