Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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