...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize