So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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