dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm too high and old for this...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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