I faked an abortion last night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
