It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
