Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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