I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize