Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
