We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
