So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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