weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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