is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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