She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
