You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you never un-have a 4some
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
