No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
