What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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