Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
