Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
