I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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