so that wasnt chicken after all
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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