My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
