Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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