You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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