ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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