pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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