I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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