I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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