i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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