I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dick very happy bro
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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