She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
