exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
