ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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