she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
