Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize