Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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