you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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