Porn is love you can see.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Randomize
