I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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