I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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