sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
