this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
