you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
