I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
